


To Long For Lust

by lavenderlotion



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-24
Updated: 2012-06-24
Packaged: 2020-07-07 21:24:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19858249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotion/pseuds/lavenderlotion
Summary: Nico longs for Percy. Percy longs for Nico. However, neither of the two are very good at communicating…Will something become of their Lust for each other, or like so many others, will it just perish away?





	To Long For Lust

**Author's Note:**

> Importing from FF.net

I had never feared much in my life. After all, being the Son of Hades, The Lord of The Underworld, I have seen a lot. But, my recent feelings for a certain demigod terrified me. It was, after all, wrong. Wasn't it? I have never felt like this before, about anyone. So when I got butterflies in the pit of my stomach that day that Percy and I were sword fighting, I thought nothing of it. What I thought was that maybe something had gone wrong downstairs. But, then, when I got...Excited when I saw Percy Jackson Skinny Dipping, I knew something was wrong.

It didn't fully hit me until one day, late August. This day, was one of realization. Here it is.

As I sit on the roof of my cabin, I watch the sunset into the horizon. It was like a normal Wednesday night. I was thinking about my sudden curiosity with my cousin Percy Jackson. I didn't know why, but something about him intrigued me. After he saved the world from Kronos, I couldn't stop thinking about him. It was the way the sun hit his Jet Black hair and made it sparkle. It was the hair the light caught his striking features. Maybe it was the way his eyes shined every time he smiled. I couldn't quite decide, but something about this young demigod kept him in my mind and in my dreams.

After the sunset, I got up and walked over to the ladder that leads back into my bedroom. As I walked down I carefully pulled down the door that opens the entrance to my roof, stepped onto my balcony and hopped off landing on the ground below. I notice that all the lights in the Aphrodite cabin were on. Well, of course they were. They always have something going on around there. As I walk up towards there cabin, I notice the small sound laughter coming from the ocean. Also, I realize that this laughter belongs to none other than Percy. I decide to go see what he is doing. Changing direction, I head to the lake. As I get there, I see the breathtaking figure of Percy Jackson running around the shore being chased by a sea nymph. The moon reflected off of his perfectly toned body in such a manner it was breathtaking. Without thinking I call out his name.

He turns around, water droplets flying from his hair. When he sees me, a large smile takes over his features.  
"Nico! Get down here!'" Percy yells up to me.

A feeling of unease rushes through me. I am now suddenly very self-conscience. I didn't like how skinny I was, or how my body was no match compared to Percy's. My feet start to move, going against my every command. I try and get them to stop, but somewhere in my sub-conscience mind, a thought is awakening. I feel something stirring deep inside me. I keep walking, and once I get to the shore I take of my jacket, shirt, shoes, and jeans.

As I plunge into the water I am shocked by the temperature of the water. My toes curl and my whole body shivers. Don't get me wrong, the Underworld is cold, but it is nothing compared to the ocean. "How are you not cold?" I ask him, freezing.

Without actually realizing it, I see the Nymph give me a dirty look and sink back into the water.

"Son of Poseidon. Remember? He is the sea god. This is the sea..." he says with a sly smile on his face.

"Ass!" I call him with a smile of my own. "So, what have you been doing lately? I haven't really seen you around lately."

"Ya know the usual. I've just been busy I guess. I don't really know. I have been swimming a lot lately. Trying to keep myself busy. I guess I've just needed some alone time. I have been confused … about a lot of things. I don't know, I guess I have just been distant."

"I see. Yeah, I know what you mean. And if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here for you. Just remember that okay?" I tell him with a smile.

By then we have made our way to shore, and are sitting in the sand. "Thanks Nico. It's just that when I think about Annabeth, it feels like...I can't really explain. It feels like it is something that is supposed to happen. And I'm not sure that I want it to happen anymore."

"Oh. I have had some weird feelings lately. There is just this one person who I keep thinking about. No matter what it is. I even dream about them...."

"Yeah! And whenever you see them you just keep wishing that you looked better. You wish that you were even almost as good looking as that person. You start to notice their little quirks. Like how they will go days without eating, and you worry and worry about them, thinking that they will starve."

"It is probably the worst feeling ever when you think about it. Knowing that they don't even know you exist.." I say, "But then when you two are together, it is more then you could ever wish for. But then you realize that this is wrong, and it shouldn't be the way it is. But it is, and there is nothing you can do about it."

We just sit there in silence for a while. Not having anything to say. I look over without thinking I move my hand, grabbing for his. I take it in my own, and interlock fingers. I look him in the eyes with a look of longing and lust. He looks at me back, and we gaze into each other' eyes. Midnight black meeting Sea green. Just as I start to lean in thinking that there was actually something between us, he pauses and looks away. He let go of my hand clears his throat, and stands up. He looked at me and said, "See you around Neeks."

As he walked away I couldn't help but think about what just happened again and again. I ran the situation over and over in my head. We had never been that close together before and I didn't know what to think about it. Something about it all seemed off and the way he was talking about the person that he liked ...almost as if he...were a HE! MY GOD!' Percy is...maybe he is gay. Does that mean I do have a chance! That would be more than I could have ever wanted...but maybe, just maybe, this time I got what I wanted. But even if I did, it would never be allowed by my father...I don't really think Poseidon would care all that much, but my dad . . . now that was a different story.

Getting up, I slouched back to my cabin, climbed into my bunk, and embraced the darkness. I gently let out a soft stream of tears, silent but very much real. Now, knowing that my true love would never truly be 'mine' there was nothing else for me. So I lay there, alone and scared. Scared of the future, scared of the truth...

* * *

I awake, dirty tissues scattered around my floor. Eye's blood-red from the tears I had cried, and dark circles from the hours of sleep that had been missed. I really can't keep doing this to myself. I stand up, blow my nose, and then head over to my shower. I was pretty lucky to have one of the only cabins with a shower and toilet. I turn the tap on, as hot as it can go. The scorching water burns my back, but I like how it feels. I reach for my shampoo and massage it into my scalp. I grab my soup and lather it on my body.

I turn off the tap and step out dripping wet. I grab my towel and brainlessly rub myself dry. I move over to my sink and ripe the steam of my mirrors. I pick up my toothbrush and squirt out a little toothpaste. I brush my teeth, not really thinking. I spit and rinse then gargle some mouth wash. After I'm finished with that, I deeply exhale and continue on with my morning routine. I grab my hairdryer and start the long processes of drying of my medium length, soil coloured hair.

Once I'm finished with that I move over to my closet. I pick my favourite Calvin Cline underwear and put them on. I go for a pair of my black jeans with cut-up knees. I use my studded belt. I grab my scull socks and slip them on before my blood-red converse. I grab one of my favourite white dress shirts and button it up. Well, it was white, then there was the war...I put on my blood red skinny tie. I pull on my black leather jacket. After putting it on, I spray a little of my favourite cologne. I didn't know why, but today I felt like looking nice. I head outside to see that people are going about their morning chores. I was too late for breakfast again, but I wasn't hungry anyways. I walk to my first activity, Greek with Annabeth.

Being fashionably late, I stroll up to the big house. I normally get a few stares from some of the Demeter girls, but today was too much. Like seriously, back of. But, I didn't let that bother me. I keep walking and took my seat at the back. I wasn't paying much attention, so when Annabeth called on me, I made a total fool of myself, stuttering random words. She drew attention to Clarisse instead. Thank the gods for good friends.

Something about today made me feel off. I think it was the smell in the air. Almost, stale, and dirty. I couldn't really put my finger on it until I saw a shadow move across the field in Archery. As soon as I saw it I knew there was trouble down there. It was my half-brother Damian coming to get me. I actually hated him. He lived in the Underworld with my father, which I really didn't care about. I wouldn't have wanted to live down there. It was just too...what's the word? Dead. Yes, it's too dead.

Another thing that made me hate him was his unbelievable ability to shadow morph. He can become a shadow. Okay, so I can shadow travel, and he can't but...Shadow Morphing is the ability to become a Shadow, and as a shadow, become the shadow of anything, then solidify. I have been trying to learn for the past four years, and am only now mastering turning into a shadow, let alone morph while one. Last and final thing that I hate about him is his personality. He is cocky, and a total prick most of the time. He just thinks he is better than me because dad favours him...well when I was above fighting to save the lives of everyone, and Olympus, he was down in the Underworld, not aware of anything going on.

So, all in all, I hate him. I don't actually care that he is Roman or Greek, but he is Roman, and a lot of the kids here care about that. I drop my bow, and start walking towards the field. I take out my sword, and look like an idiot, waiting to stab at something, although there was nothing. I see the faint movement of my very own shadow, and I whip around, slashing its arm. There is a groan followed by something in Latin that I decided must have been a curse.

My black shadow soon began to lift, getting thicker. Details of jeans and a purple shirt become clearer. I start to see the details of his face, death black eyes and soil hair, like mine but shorter and nicely spiked. He was wearing black eyeliner, something I chose not to do. After he was fully formed, he was lying on the ground, a decent-sized slash in his arm.

"Nico! You're going to pay for that!" He yells at me. Now, this whole thing has caused some attention, and a couple of kids are looking our way. The gash on his arm is bleeding, and he winced a couple of times before I started talking.

"Okay there. So what are you doing here? You know you aren't wanted and I will kick you out. I can see you as a shadow, and my blade will cut you. So speak then leave." I tell him. With him you must be demanding, and get to the point or else he will take advantage of you.

He stares at me for a moment, trying to figure out if he should test me. The last time I had fought him was a year ago, and since then I have grown and learned many new things. I got a new blade and learned some new techniques. "Alright, fine. Dad asked me to come get you. You are needed in the underworld. There is something going on. As you know I can't listen to the dead like you can, and I can't control them either. So, dad wants you. He is busy in Olympus, and he left me in charge. But the spirits are going out of control, and I'm afraid I need help."

As much as I hate him and Dad, I couldn't just leave him. I decide to go. "Look, I'll be there in a week." He starts to say something in protest but I cut him off, "A week! Don't test me."

He grumbles away melting into a dark mass and disappearing into the ground. As I start walking to my cabin I realize that I have a million thoughts floating around in my head. Some were just minor, like when I was going to get my sword sharpened. But others, like last night, they were more important. I don't end up at my cabin. Instead, I ended up in the forest. It was dark and the overhang of branches was thick. Their trunks covered in moss. It was pretty normal for there to be monsters out here, and they generally don't challenge me. But, there are none this close to the camp. So that is why that when I heard a crackle of twigs, I abruptly turn around startled. The one responsible to the noise is none other than Percy Jackson. Luckily he hasn't seen me yet, so I have a chance to slip into the shadows.

I watch him, hiding in the shadows, wanting to approach but not knowing how to. I guess, when I think about it, I'm just the scared little boy that I was when Bianca died. He was just sitting down, doing nothing. He was mumbling to himself, but I couldn't make out what he was mumbling about. I thought I had heard him say my name once, but then...no, he couldn't have. He starts to cry, sobbing into his hands, and it takes everything I have not to go comfort him. I stand there, and as he cries, I feel tear's rising to my eyes. Silently they drip down my face, one after the other. Like always, no sobbing, just the tears.

I couldn't take it anymore. I step out and walk over to the log he is sitting on. I put my arm around him and rest my head on his shoulder. He looks over to see who it is, since he hasn't looked up yet. All he does is lays his head on top of mine, and whispers "Thank you" as he continues to sob, but now almost silently. I couldn't stop thinking how perfect this moment is, but also how painful it was.

After he fully stops crying, I asked him "So, what's wrong?"

"Oh...it's nothing..." I gave him this look, like I don't believe him, and he better tell me. "Well, I don't really want to get into it. It's about me and my feelings for someone. And the thing is, is that they will never be able to love me back, and it just really hurts because for so long they have been all that I want."

"It's kind of funny actually. I'm feeling the exact same thing at the moment. I know how much it sucks. I'm head over heels for someone and they don't know and I can never tell them. I just know that they will never like me back." We are facing each other, looking into each other's eyes.

"Well maybe ...maybes it's worth the risk." His voice was quiet but sure and almost seductive. As he stared at me, his green eyes sparkled with a light of hope, and I got the feeling that I had said too much, that I had blown my cover and now he knows that I like him. I didn't know what to do. He starts to lean in, like last night, but this time, he isn't stopping. His eyes close, but this time, I'm the one that backs up.

I heard a crack of sticks, and shot up, looking around. At the sight of no one, I stuttered "P-Percy, I-I'm sor-ry but I can't..." And with that, I run off into the shadows leaving Percy behind. Leaving everything I want, alone and unprotected.

* * *

I knock on his door, a chorus of knocks to be exact. The smell of salt water is so strong I nearly gag but I keep my composer. I hear a loud yawn and within a few seconds the door in front of me swings open. I stare at Percy. I look deep into his sea green eyes with my own black ones. I grab a hold of his waist and gently pull him forward toward me. I place my hand gingerly on his check caressing his face. I deeply inhale. Percy's scent of salt water is somewhere nicer, muskier. I look deep into his eyes and lean in. I don't hesitate. I gently place my lips on Percy's. In that moment I feel nothing else. Nothing else matters to me. Everything melts down until the world is nothing but mush. Deeping the kiss I let everything I feel out. Every conflicting emotion. Every bit of love.

Percy pulls away to breath. He whispers out, "I love you."


End file.
